


Wisteria

by silver_fish



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: M/M, Post-Canon, Relationship Study, idk what im doing i never even played bl or got their supports help, introspective, sort of???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:07:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24935782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silver_fish/pseuds/silver_fish
Summary: Felix has never really stopped to consider theendof the war.
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Comments: 1
Kudos: 20
Collections: Oliver’s birthday zine





	Wisteria

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Oliver__Niko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oliver__Niko/gifts).



> [twitter](https://twitter.com/laphicets) / [tumblr](https://kohakhearts.tumblr.com)
> 
> hey so this was a bday gift for my friend ollie!! now that he's received it, i can post it, so here it is! i actually really haven't play bl + i dont think i even got felix and sylvain's c support LOL but i did my best! hopefully it's not too ooc? anyway, i'm posting it here as well even though ollie already has a copy of it in case others might want to read! pls enjoy <3
> 
> (wisteria symbolizes longevity/immortality. It can also be symbolic of love and sensuality!)

Felix has never really stopped to consider the _end_ of the war.

Battle is in his blood, pumped through his heart down his veins to his sword hand. He was not born to fight, but he has trained for it. Everything he’s done, especially since Glenn died, has been for this. Mastery, someone worth his brother’s legacy. He never thought to consider the end of the war, because maybe there’s a part of him that didn’t actually want to see it happen.

He ought to be grateful that it’s over. Ought to be looking back on the past five years with the same disgust many of his old classmates seem to share, with the great sense that what has been lost has not exactly been worth what was gained.

But it’s more of a hole in his chest, bereavement. He doesn’t miss the war. Why would he? There is finally peace in Fódlan. He can bring honour to his family unlike anything even Glenn ever could have.

His hands feel empty, though, heavy without the weight of the sword he still keeps close. Just in case.

He’s not the only one.

He thinks of his old classmates, the Blue Lions. He thinks of the prince Dimitri fallen from grace, of his retainer who even now keeps too close an eye on him. He thinks of Ingrid, her resolve, her strength, and how very broken her gaze looks every time their eyes meet.

They do not meet eyes often, anymore.

He thinks of Annette and Mercedes. Wherever they are now, he couldn’t say, but he did notice how much Annette’s smile changed in those five years. He did notice how cautiously quiet Mercedes became, just how much more calculating her gaze became before she had never turned twenty-five.

He thinks of Ashe, who did not make it.

Mostly, he thinks of Sylvain. Thinks of all the times he protected him on the battlefield and all the other foolish things he did in the heat of the moment. He thinks of a promise made in childhood long ago. He thinks of that dark look Sylvain gets sometimes, ghosts of people they once went to school with, or perhaps even of the kids they themselves used to be. He knows Sylvain doesn’t miss the war, but maybe he misses their fallen comrades, their fractured youths.

So perhaps he shouldn’t be surprised that Sylvain is thinking of him too.

It’s only been a few months since that final battle. They’re still repairing things, still building up broken foundations. It’s not as if Felix is displeased by how things have turned out; he _is_ glad Edelgard is gone, but he recalls her as a worthy enemy at Gronder Field rather than…whatever she became. He sort of wishes that he had been given a chance to meet blades with her one last time, just to know how power like that feels.

He still trains every day, of course. It’s just different now. The war gave him purpose; now, today, he can’t quite reconcile that with the politician he has suddenly become. There are, apparently, two wars: the first one, with all the blood, and then the second, when land is negotiated and rules are laid out and the people look to nobles for structure, as if it were not nobles that started the whole damn thing to begin with.

That’s more along the lines of what Sylvain would say, though. They spend a lot of time together lately, but maybe it’s not really any more than usual. It was, after all, always a given to Felix that Sylvain would protect him on the battlefield—and he would do the same, if their situations were reversed.

One day, Sylvain finally asks:

“What are you trying to get done, anyway?”

Felix doesn’t know, so he says, “The same as everyone else. Restoring the kingdom.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Felix knows. “I mean, what’s the point of training so much still? I know it’s kinda your thing, but haven’t you had enough?”

“There are still potential enemies everywhere. Besides, if I stopped, I would only regress. Are you going to join me, or just stand there and be a nuisance?”

For a long moment, Sylvain just watches him. It’s uncomfortable—Felix has been getting the impression, more and more, that there are things within him that Sylvain sees more clearly even than he does.

“All right,” he says. “Let’s do it, then.”

They spend the rest of their afternoon sparring, but the longer it goes on, the sloppier Felix becomes, to his increased irritation. This isn’t who he is, someone who fumbles his sword or missteps during a fight. He gets the sense, too, that Sylvain isn’t really trying.

“It’s getting late,” Sylvain eventually says. “There’s still—”

“No, I’m not done. Go if you want to. I’m staying here.”

Sylvain puts his sword away and then crosses his arms over his chest, frowning. “Look, I’m not trying to say—”

“You’re distracting me. Just go, if you’re going to go.”

“No, just wait a sec. What’s up with you? It’s over. There’s no need for this.”

Felix scowls. “There’s _always_ a need for—”

“I’m not talking about training, idiot.”

His mouth snaps shut, chest twisting painfully.

“Look,” Sylvain continues, “I get it, all right? It’s not gonna be easy to just leave it all behind. We saw some pretty messed up stuff. There’s nothing wrong with being a little paranoid, but I know you pretty well, you know. Something’s bugging you. If you tell me, maybe we can figure it out.”

Oh, because he’s so good at _talking_ about things.

“I’m just trying to train,” Felix insists. “Just _go_ already.”

Sylvain shakes his head. “Is it—what? Ashe? Edelgard? What about—have you even seen Ingrid at all in the past month? Or—?”

“It’s _you_ ,” Felix snaps, then stops, disoriented.

Did he really mean that?

“Me? What about me?”

“No, never mind. That’s not—I’m just trying to train. Go away.”

“You can’t just say something like that and then expect me to leave.”

Felix looks away from him, stomach churning. “I didn’t mean anything by it. Just that you’re bothering me right now because you won’t go away.”

There is a beat, and then—

Sylvain laughs.

“Yeah, okay. You don’t need to tell me anyway. I get it. But you don’t have to protect me, Felix. I never had your back so you would owe me.”

He does know that. Of course he does. But…

“You have more worth than what you can do in a fight,” Sylvain says, and the humour is gone from his voice, not so much as a whisper of it in the air between them. “You matter to me for more than your ability to block a hit that was meant for me.”

…what else can he _do_?

He’s not Glenn, that much he knows by now. He tried. He really did. But he is who he is, and even a war has not changed this.

Live together, die together… It’s a simple promise, really.

But if it had been Sylvain who died on the battlefield, would Felix really have died with him?

“You protected me more than I protected you,” he finally says. “You got hurt more. You’re the idiot who went rushing into danger at every angle, but I’m the one who was supposed to keep you from getting hurt.”

“Don’t be stupid. It’s not your responsibility.”

Isn’t it, though? Since they were children, Sylvain has been there for him. When they were still at the academy, even. All through those five years, the war that consumed them.

What has Felix ever done for him?

“I know it’s not that simple, but the war is behind us now.” Sylvain shakes his head. “It all already happened. Let’s just be grateful we lived this long, right?”

Felix gives a snort of derision. “Right. Not for lack of trying, on your part.”

He grins. “But I made it, didn’t I? And so did you. Just—you know, just because you don’t feel like you haven’t proved yourself yet doesn’t mean you need to keep yourself stuck in the war. You’ll be there forever. I know Felix pretty well. That guy has impossible standards.”

“You—”

“If you can’t please Felix,” Sylvain interrupts, “then at least know you’ve already proved your worth to me. You did that years ago.”

Felix feels himself deflate, feels his sword loosen in his hand. “And you really think your opinion matters that much to me?”

“Ouch!” Sylvain laughs. “Come on, Felix. Let’s go get dinner. You’ve trained enough today.”

For a moment, he wants to argue. Wants to insist, more, that he _needs_ to keep training. He’s too weak, he didn’t do enough, who knows when he might need to jump in to protect Sylvain? Sylvain has done it for him too many times already, and yet…

Yet, there is a subtle warmth in Sylvain’s words. No, he does not need Felix to save him on the battlefield to see Felix’s worth. He sees more in Felix than the legacy he has been carrying, than the sword he has sought to master for all these years.

He is his friend. And for Sylvain, that has always been enough.

With a small sigh and nod, he sheathes his sword. Sylvain smiles—a real smile, not the one he uses to charm beautiful women, not the grin he wears as a mask over a complicated heart—and turns to lead him away, but stops to give Felix time to catch up to his side. They leave, side by side.

He doesn’t spare a glance back. He has trained enough for today.

Everything he needs is right here, after all. He never needed to prove himself to the person who has seen his worth from the very beginning.

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are always appreciated! xx
> 
> (p.s. catch me on twitter [@laphicets](https://twitter.com/laphicets) or tumblr [@kohakhearts](https://kohakhearts.tumblr.com) for writing updates. i also sometimes take writing requests on both!)
> 
> and happy birthday again oliver!


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